You'd think a bomb would be this complicated and unapproachable thing. I mean, both mentally and physically. You don't want to have anything to do with them. Our lot can't use firearms, but we can access bombs, as if that is somehow better. Of course, civilians get neither this nor that. I don't think even the guards do.

But we hear them. Often. And since I live closer to the walls, I hear them louder and clearer. They aren't as distant for me as they are for others. Not as unfamiliar. For years I have compared their reoccurrence with an angry neighbor that keeps trying to smash out your windows, only that the glass is particularly strong. You've never seen his face.

It's bullshit, I know. I realize my fascination is not natural; otherwise everyone would have it. It's a morbid curiosity; it's one of the biggest crimes of not minding your business, not focusing on your duties as a civilian, and instead running towards random noises like an animal. It is undignified to neglect your most important civil obligation, which is to ignore the obvious.

I am not ashamed to say that I am unfulfilled. Every now and then a brick falls, maybe 2, maybe 3, or maybe more. And whatever wound that gets left on the wall gets obscured by smoke, and by the next day it's all mended; you'll forget where you even saw it, that it happened at all.

Vita (year 290) 1